Sleeping Starfish

I have to put last night in the baby book as the first time Starfish slept through the night.  After some seriously horrible tantrums during the day yesterday mixed with having barely slept from 3am yesterday until we put  her down last night at 11pm, I imagine she must've been so exhausted that sleep just couldn't be fought any longer.

I was at my wits end, crying while she cried, wondering what I was or wasn't doing right when the hubby came home from his class last night around 9pm.  I was just as exhausted as the little one was, maybe more so, because while she got in a few 30 minute naps (and by few I mean three all day long) I was searching for the next thing to try to calm her when she would inevitably wake up screaming.

I also managed to get the bed linens washed, dried and the bed remade, get the dishes done and make myself grilled chicken on the George Foreman (my only real meal of the day yesterday). I tried once to lay down and nap while she did but that was one of her 10 minute psych-out naps that she pulled out yesterday as well. 

So anyway, when the hubby came home, we put the baby in the crib and let her cry while he held me and let me cry.  I was exhausted and frustrated and sad.  He comforted me and let me just get it all out.  He's good about that. He's also good at reassuring me that I'm doing a good job and reminds me that I'm not always going to be able to calm her and that babies just cry sometimes. 

When my good cry was over he suggested that I "top her off" by feeding her and then we would give her a good warm bath and put her down for bed.  So I took her, soothed her and fed her and then we got the bath ready.  Wouldn't you know it, she had a good time getting her bath (for the second time now, no more tears!).  She didn't cry once, even cooed a little as I wrung the washcloth out over her belly.  The bath went so well I thought the tantrums were over and she'd decided to be happy again.

But then, bath time was over and it was time to get diapered and dressed again. I swear, I think we're gonna have a naked jaybird running around the house in the future.  She seems to despise having anything on. 

She screamed like we were pulling out her toenails one by one while we got her dressed and ready for bed.  But then daddy got her all bundled up in blankets and she settled right down.  He looked at me and saw the exhaustion on my face and ordered me to leave the room and go to bed.  I didn't need telling twice.  I kissed him goodnight and gave Starfish a kiss on the head as well.  I wasted no time finding the pillow and falling asleep. 

I was apparently so tired that I never heard him take out all of the trash in the house, take a shower, or come to bed.  All of which would normally wake me up. 

When I woke, it was dawn.  The sky was lightening, the birds chirping outside the bedroom window.  And I started to feel a little touch of panic.... was she okay?

As I rolled to get out of bed, I also felt pain.  Something I'd not yet experienced as a breast feeding mother had finally made its' debut and I was in agony.  I'd never gone more than 5 hours without feeding the baby, so engorgement had never really had a chance to occur.  But after 8, yes EIGHT, hours of sleeping without a feeding, my cups runneth over. 

Since I didn't hear Starfish making any peeps, I figured I had best use the little bit of time I had to pump off some of the milk making me so miserable. I didn't want to go into the nursery to get the electric pump so I just grabbed the little manual pump I'd stored in the bathroom cabinet and used that.  Once I'd achieved some relief, having pumped off just enough to take the edge off but still have enough to feed her when she did wake up, I decided it was time to face the fear that had been building. 

I was starting to wonder why she hadn't made a peep all night.  I went through a series of thoughts such as maybe she did wake up last night a time or two and I just didn't hear her and hubby took care of it, or maybe she's just happy and has been awake looking around and being good for a few hours....

Honestly though, I was terrified to go into the nursery because I was so afraid something had happened and I would find her... well... you can imagine my thoughts. 

I mustered up my courage and opened the door to her room.  She was stirring as I walked in, then she looked up at me as I leaned over the crib and she smiled so big it melted my heart. 

She was fine.  She'd just slept the whole night. 

Then she cooed, stretched, and farted. 

After I changed her diaper, I scooped her up and gave her tons of kisses and then we sat down to let her get a start on getting a full belly. Once she achieved milk-drunk status she got heavy eyed so I bundled her in blankets and rocked her in my arms.  She was half awake for a good half hour, then she passed out finally so I placed her back into her crib.  She was out sound as a pound, and stayed that way for 45 minutes.

When she awoke, she started crying and I thought for sure we were in for a repeat of yesterday.  But she just wanted snuggles, so I held her and let her look around and I talked to her.  After about 20 minutes of this she'd had enough and started getting fussy.  She also started rooting around and I set up shop and fed her again. 

She was happy and wanted to play for a few minutes after eating, so I sat her in her bouncy seat and attached the toy bar that has dangling toys on it.  She discovered the other day that she could kick her legs to make the toys swing and bounce. So she was doing that, making gurgly noises and seeming quite content.  Since she seemed completely uninterested in my presence, I decided to take advantage of the moment and sneak out for a quick shower. 

When I came back to her room after my shower she was asleep.  I have a feeling she'll be a sleepy head today. Yesterday was rough, for both of us.  And if she wants to rest today I think that's just fine. 

Cranky Butt

So for, oh... the last 48 hours or so, the little Starfish has been a serious cranky butt.  She fights sleep, cries...no... screams for seemingly no reason at all, and is just generally cantankerous.  It's exhausting.  She did sleep well last night, when she finally WENT to sleep.  Which was sometime around midnight.  Daddy took duty again last night because I was exhausted, frustrated and just out of ideas to try to calm her.  Nothing I'd tried had worked. 

So I said, "Here ya go daddy...you try! I'm going to bed."


I didn't hear her make a peep once he got her settled until around 5 this morning.  When she started stirring, I got up and started our nighttime feeding routine of turning on the low wattage lamp, changing her diaper (whether it needs it or not), and then feeding her quietly.  No TV, no bright lights, no noises except my gentle "I love you's" when we make eye contact.

She didn't fall back to sleep right after that feeding like she usually does at night, so we snuggled for a little bit and when I felt she was getting ready to nod off, I swaddled her up and placed her in her crib and sat quietly for a few moments to make sure she wasn't gonna get rowdy.

Once I knew she was on her way out, close to 6 am, I went back to my room and tucked myself back into bed for a few more hours of sleep.  She woke up again around 10am and was ready for more milk and cuddles.  Right now I am watching her fight sleep in her swing.  I don't know why she fights it.  She's not missing anything.

But fight it she does, for whatever reason.  I hope this trend passes soon and she finally passes out for at least a half hour, because I really need to get a shower so I can get some errands run today. 

80,000+ Smiles

According to the blogger hit counter that I see when I log into my Dashboard, I'm at 80,021 hits since I started this blog back in 2007.

That's pretty cool. 

The one I have on here by SiteMeter was added well after I started the blog and is therefore inaccurate but still offers a good sizable number to gauge my blogs "popularity" by. 

I am more than slightly humbled by the numbers, regardless of which counter you wish to go by.  I still can't believe anyone wants to read this crap.

Also... I can't believe that ticker up there says my little Natalie is 4 weeks and 2 days old already!

Today I'm gonna share a video of my little Starfish and I having a conversation this morning... because I want to share her smiles.  Just a few of the 80,000+ she will give me over the course of our lives together. 

I love her face. 

Enjoy!

Torture in the Bath Tub

So we decided that since our Starfish's cord stump finally fell off late last week (yay!) that we'd give her her first tub bath.  Unfortunately, it didn't go anywhere near as planned.

I had imagined her being thrilled to splash and kick in the water as we gently scrubbed her with one of her soft washcloths.  Then we would have a sweet, happy and clean baby bundled in a fresh towel at the end to snuggle with.

Yeah.

No.

Instead it went more like this:

Starfish was already screaming because she just does that most evenings recently and is nearly inconsolable for at least one hour.  I mean, what better time to decide to strip her naked and plop her into a tub of water than when she's already pissed off, right?

Once naked baby is in the tub, screaming bloody murder, daddy commences the washing while mommy watches and tries to catch at least one moment on camera where baby isn't all scrunchy red-faced and wide-mouthed looking like she's being tortured.

Mommy gives up after two snapshots with her iPhone and places phone on the sink counter so that she can try to get in the floor beside daddy and help with the squirmy screaming baby washing task at hand.

Mommy notices nearly too late that baby has wiggled down into the baby bath tub so far that her mouth is less than an inch from the puddle of torturous death water.  Mommy scolds daddy, who is happily scrubbing away at the naked baby bum-bum, for not paying attention to both ends of his baby girl.  Mommy spirals into panic that daddy might actually drown baby.... daddy tells mommy to relax.

Mommy drains a little bit of water from the baby bath tub while daddy continues to wash squirmy baby body parts.  Once baby is considered as clean as can be, daddy rinses her off and asks mommy to hold her a minute while he rinses out the soapy tub water and wash cloth.

The fresh dry towel is out of mommy's reach and so mommy has to just hold the little pissed off Starfish over the tub while she squirms and cries and daddy takes his time doing the rinsing of the inanimate objects.  Mommy scolds daddy again for not realizing that the baby is slipping with every leg and arm flail out of mommy's hands and may end up in a REALLY pissed off pile in the bath tub if he doesn't get mommy the towel NOW!

Daddy gets towel and spreads it between his two extended hands, mommy places the now livid Starfish into daddy's hands and sighs with deep relief.  Daddy swaddles and dries the slowly calming down baby and mommy watches and realizes that washing a baby is really scary.

Daddy makes fun of mommy for being a spaz, Starfish settles down, and they all lived happily ever after. 

One of the two snapshots where she doesn't look completely pissed off.

3 By 3

I can't believe my sweet little Starfish is 3 weeks 3 days old already.  Time is flying by.  She is growing so fast, as she snoozes in her bouncy seat right now she looks like a chubby little baby doll.  I am so glad that she's getting enough to eat from breastfeeding to be growing so well.  That makes me feel good, especially since we had such a rough start with it. 

At her two week check-up last week the pediatrician was pleased with her weight gain.  When she was born she weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and then four days later she had lost (which is normal) 12 oz and weighed in at 7 lbs and 3 oz.  Well, at that check-up last week she weighed in at 8 lbs and 1 oz! The doc said she was spot on with her weight gain which made me so happy. 

Our next appointment isn't until she's two months old.  So she'll have plenty of time to gain even more weight before her next weigh in. 

Life with the little Starfish is getting a little easier each day.  I'm learning her cries and what it is that she wants.  I am also learning to watch for little cues in her body language to clue me in to her needs as well.  Aside from a couple of nights that her schedule was a bit out of whack as a result of an overnight trip to her grandparents' house, she's been sleeping really well through the night.  Most nights we get our last two-hourly feed done by 10-11pm and then she will sleep between 3-5 hours before waking and wanting to eat again and then will settle back down for another 3-4 hours before morning.

She isn't always spazing out at bath time anymore and even diaper changes aren't triggers for complete meltdowns all the time. She has her moments still, but those two things are getting calmer and most pleasant all around. 

Funny story from this morning.  I heard my angel crying out, intermittent cries that she gives when she wants attention before a feeding.  It'd been 4 hours or so since she last ate so I knew those "gimme attention" yells were soon to transition to full on "feed me now" cries.  So I opened my eyes and threw off the covers.  I noticed that hubby was already out of bed, which isn't uncommon.  Some mornings he leaves earlier than others for work when he needs to drive further to a job site. 

As I took a few swigs out of the ice water that I keep by my side at all times now I heard daddy talking softly to baby girl.  "Aww, how sweet" I thought to myself as I slipped on my pajama bottoms and flip flops. I figured he was telling her goodbye before he left for work.  But as I entered the nursery I realized quickly that he was not ready for work yet.  I suppose he heard her waking up before I did and decided to go tend to her to let me sleep.  (He's the best, by the way!)

It was kind of a good thing, however, that I entered when I did.  He thought she was fussing because she needed her diaper changed and proceeded to start that task, in the dark mind you, and got himself in to a bit if a pickle.  She needed to poo and pee but hadn't quite gotten there yet, that is until daddy removed her diaper.  Cool air is the perfect "go" button after a long warm sleep period.  And while he was cleaning up the back end of her business she opened the gates on the front end and he hadn't even realized it because it was so dark in the room. 

I was watching the two of them do their diaper dance and then realized that the pad under her looked two toned like it would be when wet, so I turned on a lamp and illuminated the situation a bit.  I didn't want to swoop in and take over, daddy was doing a good job and I want to make sure he gets to do things like this to bond with her as well.  But after I grabbed a clean pad to replace the dirty one with, he decided to bail out and wash the poo off the soiled pad while I finished up with the diaper change. 

We do make a pretty good team when it comes to taking care of our Starfish together.  He's really patient with her in the evenings when she's more fussy than she's been all day.  He snuggles and cuddles with her and gives mommy a break.  He can usually get her settled down at bedtime if she's a little rambunctious.  And the look on his face and hers as they study each other is just about the most heartwarming thing ever. 

Anywho...here's your baby picture fix for the day.  The one above is her last week at 2 weeks 2 days.  The one below was taken yesterday at 3 weeks 2 days (and it makes me laugh every time I look at it). She's quite the character and loves making funny faces for mommy.